Grand Lux Boutique Manor

The owners of this hotel need to give some thought as to what makes a client happy. Our room was very spacious with a lovely view. That is where the compliments end. In extreme wind we had to walk outside to get into our room, despite there being a door inside the hotel leading directly into our suite. We were told by the manager that the door was “ for the staff’s use only to service the room”. The same applied to getting to breakfast. We had to walk outside in the howling wind, through a door that was very difficult to open, only to discover the manager had walked through the house via the kitchen, wind free. There were workmen on a Sunday morning painting around the pool. I decided as it was windy I would use the gym, only to discover a painter inside there too and, as a result, the room had such strong paint fumes it was unusable. There was no cappuccino or lattes available at breakfast, no none dairy options either. On the table there was only cheap table salt, no course salt. The shower had no hand rail or seat and the bath had nowhere to place shampoo or soap. No wonder we had to sign an indemnity at check in. And the hotel is not cheap. With a great location and some sweet staff who serviced our room, it will be a pity if these issues are not resolved. We packed up and left early. Did not see one other guest there. Not surprised.

Without question the strangest hotel we have ever stayed in. The host Thembi was chief, cook and bottle-washer and went out of her way to accommodate any request, but the place itself is just ODD. On check-in we were asked to sign a liability waiver (it probably even means I can’t write this review but what the hell). I have never experienced anything like this - a place that seeks to absolve itself of all responsibility for absolutely anything during your stay. Whilst signing we were given sherry and a cold wet towel before heading up to our ‘suite’. Up an outdoor narrow steel spiral staircase (the only route to our rooms, apparently), our room had seven (I think) doors to outdoor terraces, only one of which was open. The others were all locked and the terraces out-of-bounds yet bedecked by furniture in the sunniest spot of the hotel. One of the locked terrace doors even led to our bathroom! The decor felt like someone had let off a chintz cannon in the bedroom. Beautiful antique style furniture was littered with swathes of fur and sparkly sequin cushions. It felt like Anna Nicole Smith had exploded over Frank Sinatra. The complimentary bubbles in the room (you couldn’t call it champagne, even though they did) was lovely, the exercise bike next to it unnecessary. The pool is in the yard, in the shade, and to get to it you have to walk through the restaurant and bar, again only accessible from outdoors. The bar felt like it had been built in the 1980’s by my flash car-salesman uncle, and was resplendent with cut glass crystal decanters that once held elixir but now gather dust. It feels like somewhere that used to have huge house parties that one day just ran out of juice, and now what’s left is a bizarre system of guest accommodation that doesn’t really work. A glance down the wine list saw Thembi disappear a number of times to the other side of the hotel only to return with the news that hardly any of it was in stock. When asked if we could book for dinner in the hotel restaurant the response was ‘I’m making chicken Kiev tonight’ - not quite what we had in mind. Breakfast was equally disturbing, with just too much going on - on the table, on the serving table and on the plate. Upon checkout we were passed a slip of paper and asked to fill it out there and then. It was a feedback form. I said that I wouldn’t be doing that and that if I had any feedback I would pass it on at a later date. Thembi looked visibly worried, and tried to press me into completing it, saying ‘you have to fill it out’. We got the impression that it wasn’t going to go down well if she didn’t deliver the form. Thembi did everything anyone asked of her, and always with a smile and warm words, but there was an overall feeling of unease throughout our entire stay - I can’t quite put my finger on it, but the whole place just gave us the willies.

If you want luxury in Victorian style, this is the place to be. The furniture, the cutlery, the service are playing the part in this style. If you want modern luxury, you may want to book other accommodations, closer to the center of Hermanus. We stayed 5 nights in he King room which, in my view is the best room, because it has great views on the bay and Hermanus. The bathroom is gorgeous, with 2 baths with water jets. Thembie, the staff was waking us every morning with nice coffee and pastries and then preparing breakfast for us with what we wanted - different types of eggs, pancakes, etc. It was a special occasion in my family and this accommodation made it very nice for us. The minibar was complementary, including sparking wine and many refreshments. It missed a shuttle to the center of Hermanus and perhaps a bit more modernity, overall. Plus, we had to ask Thembie to go out or get back in as , for safety reasons I was not possible to have the key to the gate ourselves. My husband found this difficult but I did not mind. The lobby was cold and a bit small and hence we did not use it but rather enjoyed our terras.

Amazing place. The rooms are really outstanding like I’ve never had anywhere before. Also the rooms are spacious and clean. The boutique is located near the center and the Harbour. Thereby the hosts are really nice. Thank you for the amazing stay :)