Suburban Studios

During my 30-plus years as a soldier and law enforcement officer, I have been inside truly horrible dwellings and hotel/motel rooms, including in a number of war-torn third-world countries. Yet this establishment is now tied with a motel in Baltimore for the title of "Worst Lodging I've Ever Seen"! I was part of a security team working 11 days at Augusta National Golf Club for the Masters and associated events. The company I was working for provided lodging for out of town officers, and my teammates and I were billeted at the Suburban Extended Stay Hotel. After completing in-processing at the company office, we drove a short distance to this place and checked in. A very nice woman named Tay checked us in and assigned us our rooms on the third floor. Upon driving the rental car around back, I first thought I was back in the suburbs of Baghdad. Debris littered the parking lot and breezeways, sketchy characters were hanging around, giving us the evil eye, and it just got worse from there. Climbing the corroded metal stairs, I noted that the window screens on at least half the rooms on this side of the building were torn and hanging out from their frames. Unoccupied rooms had open doors. Made it to our teammate's room, and they held up a towel covered with the corpses of crushed cockroaches that they had dispatched in the first 30 seconds of occupying their room. Got to our room, observed that the door had a 3/4 inch gap at the bottom. Opening the door, the funk of body odor and embedded cigarette smoke caused my lungs to spasm, and I began to cough uncontrollably. (My lungs were damaged by prolonged exposure to toxic chemical smoke in Iraq.) Not only was there our own stable of cockroaches gamboling about the floor and counters, but the visible coating of mildew I could see in the bathroom led me to fear that there might very well be a decomposing body residing in the tub. (But to be honest, although the room stunk, it didn't stink like a dead person does, so that was a plus.) I'd seen enough. I drove back to the company office, and explained to the boss that this lodging was a no-go. He was kind enough to billet me and my teammate at another establishment, which although was a half-hour drive from our worksite, it was well worth losing the extra 30 minutes of sleep! (By the way, the other two guys from our team who had slaughtered the herd of roaches ended up staying there, because they are both heavy smokers, so they wouldn't have to leave their room to light up, plus they wanted the extra half hour of sleep. Of course, they were disappointed when we told them that our new hotel served a really good breakfast every morning...which isn't offered at the Suburban Extended Stay Hotel...unless you like microwaved roaches with your coffee!) When I handed back the room keys to Tay, she remained very polite and sympathetic...She clearly deserves to work at a much nicer hotel!

I was assigned this hotel by the company I worked for at the Masters golf tournament. After checking in, I went up to my room on the third floor, noting that the door had a half inch wide gap between the door frame. Upon entering the room, I was greeted by the overpowering stench of stale cigarette smoke. It was so strong that my lungs clenched and I began coughing. (My pulmonary system was damaged by exposure to Burn Pit smoke while I was deployed to Iraq.) Holding my breath, I poked my head into the room. It was filthy and in complete disrepair. Mold/mildew covered the shower and curtain, floor was stained and sticky, pillowcases were stained, and a pair of roaches scuttled under the bed. Didn’t bring my luggage in the room, just went back down to the lobby and checked out. It wasn’t just my room that was uninhabitable; the entire hotel was the worst lodging establishment I have ever seen. (That’s saying something, because I have served in war zones, disaster stricken areas, and crime ridden communities in the United States and internationally.) The desk clerk, Tay, was the lone bright spot; she was very apologetic and helpful. She deserves to work at a decent establishment! DO NOT GO NEAR THIS ESTABLISHMENT!