Dream Bay Resort powered by Cocotel

That’s gonna be a long review so better buckle up. While the hotel looks nice on the photos and generally speaking is fairly new, this is where all the positives will end up. The service is absolute disaster. 4 days in the room, nobody even came to ask if I need cleaning of the room or changing the sheets, bring water or toilet paper, or throw any trash. I had to actually ask for additional towels, because, as you can imagine, they didn’t bother to bring those either. Oh the cherry on top of the cake, they’ll bring you a breakfast in the room, and will come and take the plates the next day, when they bring you the other breakfast. They offer massages, the only problem is that when you book one, they complete disregard the agreed timing and they just don’t send anybody. Wanna remind them or complain?! Well that sounds like “your” problem, cause the reception is closed after 5pm, cause why not?! The reception is not open on Sunday… why?…well why should it be?…I mean it’s not a hotel or anything, right?! You hungry?! Well that’s yet another “your” problem fellas, cause they don’t offer any food, besides breakfast, and the closest restaurant is 10 min by motorcycle ride. But at the same time, you’ll see them cook for themselves and do those big family dinners at the porch overseeing your room… you know just to make you feel like extremely neglected and not part of the “cool kids” enjoying a dinner. You want WiFi?! Well buckle up, cause the connection they have is as good as the one you’ll find in a remote cave somewhere in Tiber where they shot the movie with Brad Pit… or a Siberian gulag, you know. Actually scratch that last part, I’m sure Siberian gulags have better internet. And when I say “the connection is as good as”, that’s in the event you even have a one, because for almost 1 entire day the connection was completely absent. So yeah, if you wanna come to this place and seclude yourself from the outside world and completely forget about the existence of internet, work emails, social media, checking the stock market, listening to your favourite podcast, watching a damn YouTube video while defecating, or wanting to recreate that “kumbaya internal enlightenment away from the vanities of the world vibe” sawn in the White Lotus season 3, well this is the perfect place for you. To put a cherry on the top, in 4 days there were 2 electrical outages. So you’ll basically have that amazing “rekindling with the nature” experience. Have fun you funky hippies. But after all this “undeserved hate” towards this “fine establishment”, you might ask the question; “but hey, after all you are in Puerto Galera mate, you can’t expect that much from a hotel, I guess you are paying 5 silver coins and a half package of mentos for a room, so you can’t ***** about it that much”. Well my darling readers, brace yourself because the price tag for a night in this god forsaken dungeon is 90 USD a night (and that’s actually with some sort of a discount”. All in all if you want a mediocre experience, in a abandoned by any deity you believe in place, with service which can be described as a “2 starts hotel in recently bombarded Baghdad”, without access to food, internet or any entertainment whatsoever, but at the same time you wanna extremely overpriced price for it…. Well you are in luck, cause this is the perfect place for you. PS: the water pressure sucks donkey nuts and the staff has probably 2 people that can actually speak English. You are welcome!